Episode 40: My Experience with Theft

When I was 4 years old or so, I stole a piece of candy from a convenience store counter. I put it in my pocket, and walked out behind my parents. And then I felt so guilty, I threw that football-foil-wrapped chocolate into the bushes! The heat of that guilt bothered me for YEARS. A 10 cent piece of candy can change who we are!

Looking back, I realized that I have always been a girl with high moral values, despite my parents not being that way. (They were good people, just didn’t have super high values.) This explains why I’ve felt shame so often.

Listen in to the episode to see what I mean.

Denita

PS. I believe if we all listened to each other, we could change the world. Because I believe this so deeply, I’m starting a new FREE offer: Listening Sessions. Come join me over Zoom and I will be deeply present with you, just listening. No sales, no coaching (unless you want it), no teaching. Just you talking, me listening. Sign up here.

Also, if you want to hear more inspiration from me, straight to your inbox, sign up here.

In the meantime, go be you, follow the spirit, and share your stories.

Episode 39: The Trap of Speaking Up

This week, I reflect on several instances when I spoke up and when I stayed quiet and the threads I learned. This episode is partially me processing what being “shy” has meant to me, based off of what I am learning about my nervous system. I focus on how I was made to feel alone and abandoned or hurt and ashamed.

This episode was sparked by an experience I had when I felt myself get really nervous and stumble over my words in front of one of my coaches and mentors. I got curious about what was happening, an I realized that my nervous system was both in “freeze” and “flight” mode. Then I had several memories come the the surface that felt similar.

I realized that the identity of being shy, that I was given by my parents as a child, was really a similar nervous system response.

As I reflected on these many memories from childhood, I saw patterns emerging. When I speak up, I feel alone, ostracized, abandoned. When I don’t speak up, I hurt others or myself. Quite the catch-22!

I know now that I can recognize this pattern, but there are other options I can choose. I hope this helps you navigate your desires to speak up or stay quiet too.

Denita

If you would like my Starter Guide for a Shame Proof Life, click HERE. If you would like to schedule a free listening session, click HERE.

Episode 38: My Board of Directors… so to speak

I had so much fun last week talking about Mr. Thornton and why he was impactful for me, that I’m at it again. This time I talk about 3 people who were impactful– two more teachers and an extended family member. I’m learning a lot from reflecting on this theme. It’s teaching me what I really want in my life and in my business. It has been so useful! I encourage you to reflect on and journal about people who were impactful to you and why. I think you might learn something about yourself!

Mr. Sandberg was my band instructor from 4th grade until 11th grade. He taught me about passion. He gave me a space to be myself and feel like I belong.

Mrs. Gadberry was my 6th grade classroom teacher. After a difficult year, and before junior high, she was a bright spot in my life. She helped me to realize that learning could be fun instead of so serious. She created a wonderful classroom culture and met me where I was.

Aunt Kathy is one of the reasons I believe I was supposed to marry my husband. She is the epitome of human unconditional love and genuine interest.

Each of these people teaches me what I want to feel in my life and what I want my clients to feel when they work with me.

Speaking of clients– would you like to be one of mine? I am enrolling now for my BRAND NEW private coaching program School of Self. This program is for anyone who wants to learn how to fully accept and love themselves by diving deep into who they are. In the process you will build strong relationships with your kids and spouse (and anyone else in your life!). If you like what you hear on the podcast, you will love coaching with me. Click HERE to schedule a free chat to see if School of Self is a good fit for you. There is absolutely no obligation AND you’ll walk away understanding your own personal blocks. Win-win!

Are you following me on Instagram? I share more of my life (is that even possible?) and interesting tidbits there.

Do you have my Guide to a Shame-proof Life yet? You can download it HERE.

Until next time, go be you and follow the Spirit!

Denita

Episode 37: Mr. Thornton, an influential teacher

In this week’s episode, I’m reflecting on someone who was influential in my life– Mr. Thornton. He was a middle and high school teacher of mine, and we just clicked. I tell several school stories in this episode, but especially how he made me feel that made him so meaningful to me.

I also invite you in to my new program at the end of the episode, if you are interested. I’m pretty excited about birthing this new “baby” into the world!

If you want to connect with me more, use one of these links:
Join my email list: https://view.flodesk.com/pages/612432bc9c07724f9bf1710c

IG: https://www.instagram.com/denitabremercoaching/

or I give my email address in the episode.

Enjoy!
Denita

Episode 30: Talking Too Much


If you’ve ever judged yourself for talking too much or having too many words, this episode is for you.

Listen in for

1.The time I gave a talk in sacrament meeting and spoke way too long.
2.Being like Hermione Granger
3.Leaning into it instead of pushing it down
4.Verbal processing

Thank you so much for filling out my survey:
https://forms.gle/KuCJeGxJyD7Lvimf9

Denita

Episode 29: How to Grieve

The year 2000 was a doozie for me. After never having experienced a death of someone close to me, I had 3 in 3 months. In this episode, I discuss what that was like, why I felt shame, and what I think about it now. I talk about how to grieve, and why each of these losses were different.

I pay tribute to my best friend from middle school, Sara. She was one of the most wonderful people you would ever meet. It was a privilege to walk the path for a short distance with you, Sara.

To all those who are grieving or who have grieved and still feel guilty or shame around it, this episode is for you.

Denita

PS. If you haven’t downloaded my free Starter Guide to a Shame Proof Life, you can do that HERE.

Episode 28: Let’s Talk About Sex

If there’s one thing that sets me apart from “normal” Church culture, it’s my pre-marital sexual experience. In this episode I talk alllllll about it. If you had sex before you were married, this episode is for you!

I’m still taking responses on my survey…. and you can get a free coaching session if you’d like: https://forms.gle/UkAPt3LYYvGsQcYDA

Denita

Episode 27: The Laundromat

For 5 years we had no running water or electricity in our home. We had to haul water, and haul our laundry to and from the laundromat in the small town I grew up in. And over time, it became a surprisingly special place to me. 

In this episode, I talk about why it was special. And I talk about a few specific memories I have in relationship to the laundromat. 

I even mention a realization about laundry and the laundromat that help me today!

Do you have any special places in your life, similar to mine in this episode?

Thank you for rating, reviewing and sharing the podcast! If you wouldn’t mind doing me one more favor, I would appreciate it if you would fill out my survey: https://forms.gle/4S2uF9xRY6cgFp4c9