Episode 55: Personality Blueprint Part 6 – Find Your Why

Our final Personality Blueprint installment and we are talking about one sentence that sums up your purpose. The Find Your Why exercise, made popular by Simon Sinek, helps you understand who you are at your natural best, and what your contribution and impact in the world is. 

I, personally, found this exercise to be enlightening, like values on steroids. My why statement has helped me to focus my life and my business.

Listen in as I describe the process and give you 4 of my takeaways.

I also mention what is going on in Denita Bremer Coaching right now:
I am turning this Personality Blueprint into a workbook and a coaching package, probably around 6 sessions. Stay tuned (or get on my email list!) to hear when that is ready to go.

Helpful links:
Schedule a free session
Join my 1% Habits Group
Find Your Why book
Start with Why book
Simon Sinek

Have I told you how grateful I am that you are tuning it? Because I am. I hope the content I provide helps you as much as it helps me!

Denita

Episode 47: Don’t Say “Life is hard.”

“Life is hard.” is one of those fillers that we just say all the time, but what does it really mean?

It’s one of my personal pet peeves when people say it.

In this week’s episode I tell you exactly why I don’t like it and why you should stop saying it.
1. It’s not the whole truth.
2. It’s not true for everyone at all times.
3. It’s not helpful.

I include not one, but TWO journaling exercises to get you thinking.

I hope you find these exercises provoking and helpful. And I hope they make your life easier!

Denita

PS. Want life to feel a little easier? Get more tips and tricks delivered to your inbox. Sign up HERE. And if you’re ready to try coaching, sign up for a free session.

Episode 46: Holiday Trauma

The holidays have been triggering to me for a long time, I just didn’t realize it. The holiday season comes right along with winter’s cold where I am, and I just tend to…. withdraw.

It wasn’t until I had life coaching and mindset tools that I realized it was a deep sadness that the holidays conjured up for me subconsciously. That awareness helped for a while, but it is actually a nervous system response that is happening, and I couldn’t “solve” that with just mindset.

This year, because I am working with a trauma coach, I have a new awareness and new tools to use.

Although this is raw and somewhat unprocessed, I am sharing some insights about my patterns this year. I talk about a coaching session, a specific memory, and the anger and disgust that I am working through. This feels very vulnerable to share.

I hope it helps you.
Denita

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To have a free life coaching session with me, click HERE.

Episode 40: My Experience with Theft

When I was 4 years old or so, I stole a piece of candy from a convenience store counter. I put it in my pocket, and walked out behind my parents. And then I felt so guilty, I threw that football-foil-wrapped chocolate into the bushes! The heat of that guilt bothered me for YEARS. A 10 cent piece of candy can change who we are!

Looking back, I realized that I have always been a girl with high moral values, despite my parents not being that way. (They were good people, just didn’t have super high values.) This explains why I’ve felt shame so often.

Listen in to the episode to see what I mean.

Denita

PS. I believe if we all listened to each other, we could change the world. Because I believe this so deeply, I’m starting a new FREE offer: Listening Sessions. Come join me over Zoom and I will be deeply present with you, just listening. No sales, no coaching (unless you want it), no teaching. Just you talking, me listening. Sign up here.

Also, if you want to hear more inspiration from me, straight to your inbox, sign up here.

In the meantime, go be you, follow the spirit, and share your stories.

Episode 39: The Trap of Speaking Up

This week, I reflect on several instances when I spoke up and when I stayed quiet and the threads I learned. This episode is partially me processing what being “shy” has meant to me, based off of what I am learning about my nervous system. I focus on how I was made to feel alone and abandoned or hurt and ashamed.

This episode was sparked by an experience I had when I felt myself get really nervous and stumble over my words in front of one of my coaches and mentors. I got curious about what was happening, an I realized that my nervous system was both in “freeze” and “flight” mode. Then I had several memories come the the surface that felt similar.

I realized that the identity of being shy, that I was given by my parents as a child, was really a similar nervous system response.

As I reflected on these many memories from childhood, I saw patterns emerging. When I speak up, I feel alone, ostracized, abandoned. When I don’t speak up, I hurt others or myself. Quite the catch-22!

I know now that I can recognize this pattern, but there are other options I can choose. I hope this helps you navigate your desires to speak up or stay quiet too.

Denita

If you would like my Starter Guide for a Shame Proof Life, click HERE. If you would like to schedule a free listening session, click HERE.

Episode 38: My Board of Directors… so to speak

I had so much fun last week talking about Mr. Thornton and why he was impactful for me, that I’m at it again. This time I talk about 3 people who were impactful– two more teachers and an extended family member. I’m learning a lot from reflecting on this theme. It’s teaching me what I really want in my life and in my business. It has been so useful! I encourage you to reflect on and journal about people who were impactful to you and why. I think you might learn something about yourself!

Mr. Sandberg was my band instructor from 4th grade until 11th grade. He taught me about passion. He gave me a space to be myself and feel like I belong.

Mrs. Gadberry was my 6th grade classroom teacher. After a difficult year, and before junior high, she was a bright spot in my life. She helped me to realize that learning could be fun instead of so serious. She created a wonderful classroom culture and met me where I was.

Aunt Kathy is one of the reasons I believe I was supposed to marry my husband. She is the epitome of human unconditional love and genuine interest.

Each of these people teaches me what I want to feel in my life and what I want my clients to feel when they work with me.

Speaking of clients– would you like to be one of mine? I am enrolling now for my BRAND NEW private coaching program School of Self. This program is for anyone who wants to learn how to fully accept and love themselves by diving deep into who they are. In the process you will build strong relationships with your kids and spouse (and anyone else in your life!). If you like what you hear on the podcast, you will love coaching with me. Click HERE to schedule a free chat to see if School of Self is a good fit for you. There is absolutely no obligation AND you’ll walk away understanding your own personal blocks. Win-win!

Are you following me on Instagram? I share more of my life (is that even possible?) and interesting tidbits there.

Do you have my Guide to a Shame-proof Life yet? You can download it HERE.

Until next time, go be you and follow the Spirit!

Denita

Episode 37: Mr. Thornton, an influential teacher

In this week’s episode, I’m reflecting on someone who was influential in my life– Mr. Thornton. He was a middle and high school teacher of mine, and we just clicked. I tell several school stories in this episode, but especially how he made me feel that made him so meaningful to me.

I also invite you in to my new program at the end of the episode, if you are interested. I’m pretty excited about birthing this new “baby” into the world!

If you want to connect with me more, use one of these links:
Join my email list: https://view.flodesk.com/pages/612432bc9c07724f9bf1710c

IG: https://www.instagram.com/denitabremercoaching/

or I give my email address in the episode.

Enjoy!
Denita

Episode 35: Yelling at Your Kids

In this episode I divulge some “shameful” things about my parenting… yelling at my kids. I also discuss: 

  • Why you might feel like you can’t stop yelling at your kids.
  • What you need to understand to stop yelling at your kids. 
  • Why the Model might not work to help you stop yelling at your kids.
  • Where yelling is in a vicious cycle.
  • How your parents are affecting your parenting.
  • How yelling does NOT mean you are a bad mom/parent.

How to connect with me:

Denita

Episode 34: Losing a Kid

I’ve shied away from talking about parenting too much, but I know many Latter-day Saint moms would say this is the source of most of their shame. I think I’ve been reluctant to talk about it because of keeping the privacy of my own kids, and also- because I still feel shame around some of these things. My kids are still at home with me, and I still constantly wonder if I am being a good mom, or the best mom I can be.

As I reflected on this topic, two stories of me losing my kid came to the front of my mind, and that’s usually my cue for what story to tell.

The first story takes place at our closest park, on a day when the park was really busy with baseball games. I lost my oldest daughter for about 10 minutes before I found her. Panic and worry set in. In fact, I was about to call either my husband or the police when I finally found her.

The second story was even more scary because we lost my son for an entire hour on a Sunday morning in the Grand Canyon village camp ground.

There are definitely some lessons learned from both of these stories, and I throw in a bonus story about a time when I realized I needed to be a little more explicit with a child.

If you’ve ever lost a kid, I feel for you. I still feel a bit of shame about these times myself. But we are all imperfect parents doing our best. Live and learn!

Denita

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If you would like to fill out my survey, please click HERE.

Episode 33: Happy 20th Anniversary to Us!

This week we celebrate 20 years of marriage. I use this opportunity to get a little gushy about the great guy I married, strolling down over 20 years of memories. It hasn’t all been amazing, but we’ve had both good stories and good times. My emotions are right at the surface in this episode, so be warned!
I reflect on:

  • One of the most heartbreaking situations.
  • Lots of travel and previous anniversaries.
  • Our first official date.
  • The time we should have left a kid at home.
  • All the moves
  • The best husband ever.

Link to my survey: https://forms.gle/V9i9dFEgQn5oeiA18