Episode 54: Personality Blueprint Part 5 – Know Your Values

Knowing your values makes your life easier. You are already living by your values subconsciously, but making them conscious helps you make better decisions, feel more confident, and create a strong self-image. 

This is one of my favorite exercises. 

In this episode, I explain why it’s useful to know your values and how to do that:

What: Our values are the guiding principles that give our lives meaning and determine how we live. Understanding your values can help you understand yourself and your motivations, however you still get to decide who you are.

Why?

Google search: (Psychology Today)

  • Reduce stress
  • Boosts decision making and problem solving skills
  • Inspire better habits
  • Help you act more assertively
  • Communicate with compassion
  • Bolsters confidence
  • Enhances intimacy
  • Help you find your purpose (lifehack.org)
  • Help clear out the clutter of life
  • Help develop a sense of self
  • Uncover where you are following someone else and where you are following your own path/desires.

How this has helped me:

Sense of who I am without shoulds or other people’s ideas.

Focused my efforts

Help me notice when I am acting from my intuition vs action from logic.

How to actually learn your values:

Website: https://personalvalu.es/
Or fill out my Values Discovery Workbook.

Questions to help you whittle your list of values. (Use these when you have your list of values down to 10-20.) Thanks to Kim Job for these ideas.
Imagine I have a magic values wand. It will give you what you want in the following questions, but it requires payment of one value that will no longer guide you.
1. Think back to a time when you really hurt someone. You can go back and make it right, but you must give up one (or more) of your values.
2. Think of a life decision you’d love to fulfill. Getting married, making a million dollars, buying a house, etc. This decision will be guaranteed with the wave of the magic values wand, but you must give up one (or more) values. Which value(s) do you let go of?
3. You can fully fund a charitable organization of your choice… for one of your values. Which value(s) do you let go of?
4. You can guarantee the health of a loved one… for the price of one value. Which do you let go of?
5. Which emotion do you most hate feeling? You will be guaranteed to never feel that emotion again, with the wave of the values wand, when you let go of one value. Which one is it?
6. You can bring someone you love back to life for one day. Which value do you exchange for this opportunity?
7. Have you ever wanted a superpower like being able to read minds, fly, or create fire? You can have it… for one value, which is it?

Download my Values Discovery Workbook below and you’ll be added to my email list (unless you unsubscribe- which you are totally welcome to!) and be the first to know about any upcoming opportunities to work with me using these personality tools. If you already know you want to get to know yourself better and work with me in that way, sign up for a free session (also below)!

Download my Values Discovery Workbook.

Schedule a free session.

Denita

Episode 50: Personality Blueprint Part 1, Gretchen Rubin’s 4 Tendencies

I have always been a personality geek– at least since being an adult and taking psychology classes in college. So it was surprising to me when I realized that not everyone is into these frameworks, and many people who are interested in learning more about themselves have never taken the time to delve into them.

This started out as simply something that sounded fun to me. What if I walked someone else through some of the personality frameworks I have learned about, and that have helped me?

So I offered it to a couple of my past clients. These are ladies I worked with for a full year and still have a friendship with. I thought it would be fun and useful to them as well. It was just an experiment, so I offered as a free service.

Their impressions blew me away. They both told me how much it has helped them and changed the way they think of themselves. Even after an entire year of coaching with me!

And I started seeing how it could have really supported my coaching with them, if I had known these details from the beginning. Basically, it would help me understand how to approach coaching, and have a better context of what might be worth doing the mindset work around, and what might not.

I call it the Personality Blueprint. And it helps you learn about how you are wired by default. (This is totally up for debate, as personality is shaped by life experiences too.)

We dive into 6 personality tools to help us better understand ourselves:

  1. Gretchen Rubin’s 4 Tendencies (that’s what I discuss in today’s episode)
  2. Meyer’s Briggs Type Indicator
  3. Enneagram
  4. Top 5 CliftonStrengths
  5. Values Discovery
  6. Find Your Why Exercise (by Simon Sinek)

We use what we learn to create a blueprint for you navigating real life; a way for you to “stack your circumstances” as much as possible to make life easier and more joyful for yourself.

In Part 1, I explain Gretchen Rubin’s 4 Tendencies framework. Some links you may want to explore:

You can take the quiz here: https://quiz.gretchenrubin.com
The Venn diagram is here: https://images.app.goo.gl/vZy6GQ2HCa719px9A
Upholder explained: https://quiz.gretchenrubin.com/wp-content/uploads/sites/3/2018/08/Upholder-Report.pdf
Obliger explained: https://quiz.gretchenrubin.com/wp-content/uploads/sites/3/2018/08/Obliger-Report.pdf
Rebel explained: https://quiz.gretchenrubin.com/wp-content/uploads/sites/3/2021/06/Rebel-Report.pdf
Questioner explained: https://quiz.gretchenrubin.com/wp-content/uploads/sites/3/2018/08/Questioner-Report.pdf

I would love to know: have you heard about the 4 tendencies before? Do you find them useful? What tendency are you? Do you have any questions? Feel free to connect with me on Instagram or set up a free session to talk about your results and how you can use them in your life! Coming in 2022 will be an 8-week Personality Blueprint coaching package. Stay tuned if that is interesting to you.

Enjoy!
Denita