Imagine you are watching yourself and your spouse having sex. Not in a voyeuristic way, just a being-aware-of-yourself way. Watch with curiosity.
Pay attention to your energy.
Are you focused and energetic?
Are you relaxed and open?
Are you selfish?
Are you just laying there like you would rather it be over?
Are you sighing and impatient?
Are you nearly asleep?
Would you want to have sex with you?
What kind of person do you want to have sex with?
Can you be that person?
What prevents you from being that person (because I imagine if you could you would already).
Make a list of all the reasons you aren’t doing that already.
Then solve for each thing on that list.
The obstacles to a sex life you love will be figured out and you will be well on your way.
If you want help with this, reach out to me. I have other free resources, and offer free consult calls.