What you are overlooking when it comes to getting more done

Trust and commitment are the missing links between YOU and GETTING MORE STUFF DONE.

In order to get anything done, you need one of two things: 1. commitment or 2. trust.

Most of us work off of unconscious commitments:

You brush your teeth every morning and night, because you are unconsciously committed to avoiding cavities.

You eat regularly because you are unconsciously committed to solving your hunger.

You stop what you are doing to help your kid because you are unconsciously (or consciously) committed to being a good mom.

You clean your house, at least to a minimum baseline, because you are unconsciously committed to avoiding the guilt or pressure that comes with having a messy house.

So you already do a lot. This is only a short possible list.

But you still have more stuff to do.

Stuff that seems to always get pushed to the bottom of the to-do list.

Stuff that you think you don’t really want to do.

Stuff that doesn’t NEED to be done, so it can be procrastinated.

Stuff that only matters to you– nobody else is going to do it or maybe even care if it’s done.

Stuff that requires decision making.

If you want to get THAT stuff done, you have to be able to trust yourself.

Either you have to bring these tasks into your conscious awareness and have commitment to doing them– which means anything that might come up to distract you from them becomes less important.

OR

You make a plan for getting them done, and then you trust yourself to do it.

Reminder, trust means that you believe you will do what you say you will do.

When we don’t trust ourselves, we almost never follow through on getting the “extra” stuff done.

But in order to get that stuff done, we have to trust ourselves.

So it’s a catch-22!

Conscious commitment is how we get ourselves out of that loop.

And here’s the irony:

Building trust in ourselves leads to doing things over and over again, and then they become unconscious commitments.

So whether you want to get a big project done that you have been procrastinating, or you want to build healthier habits, trust and commitment are the keys.

If you want help with trusting yourself, getting more stuff done, or creating healthier habits I would love to invite you to join me on a free call where I can help you see where you are going wrong and some next steps to implement. Go to calendly.com/denitabremercoaching/convo to choose a time that works for you! I look forward to seeing you soon.

The Productivity Trap

Thinking productivity will create your feelings or make you feel better is a trap.

When we accomplish something, we might feel better for a moment, but the effect is temporary. So then we have to do more and more to feel better and better. It leaves us feeling exhausted and confused.

We use willpower to get stuff done, which is why we are perpetually tired. Then when we are tired, we don’t get as much done. We are consistently falling short of what we know we are capable of.

This leads to shame, because there is a disconnect between what we believe about ourselves and what our actual results are.

Then we want to feel better. So we think, “Doing something will make me feel better!”

And the cycle continues.

The Productivity Trap

This Productivity Trap is draining and makes us want to give up because we can never quite reach our goal in a way that feels good.

There is a better way. I call this Positive Productivity:

  1. Decide what you want, and make sure you like your reasons. Don’t do anything IN ORDER TO feel better.
  2. Commit to it.
  3. Do the next thing on the path that you think will get you to your goal.
  4. Take action despite your feelings… you will have negative emotion, but it is not a sign to quit. (This is where mindset work comes in.)
  5. Evaluate.
  6. Repeat steps 3-6.

Each of these steps is much more nuanced than what I can outline in one blog post, but if you follow these steps, coaching yourself around your emotions as you go along, you will be able to be productive and feel good while you do it. In fact your emotions will FUEL your action instead of your action DRAINING you.

If you want to get out of the Productivity Trap and into Positive Productivity, schedule a free consultation with me. My program will help you feel better so you can get stuff done without exhaustion or doubt to create the life you really want.

From Love Instead of For Love

Do you ever get frustrated because you can’t seem to DO the things you want to accomplish? I am right there with you!

Gretchen Rubin might call you an obliger, a personality who puts your own expectations last on your to-do list. Your personal goals or resolutions never come to fruition because you don’t stick to your plan. Then you get frustrated or discouraged and give up. But inevitably your drive to always be improving and striving leads you to restart those goals or new ones. And the cycle continues.

This has been the story of my life, and I just recently realized WHY. Another coach showed me how the root of this problem is that I don’t trust myself. I blame or deflect all results to something outside of me. I’m always looking for answers outside of myself. I don’t trust myself to make real decisions or know the answers… because if I fail, well then it would be my fault and THAT would feel like shame.

I’m constantly using willpower to accomplish what does get done. These tasks are usually fueled by a sense of obligation, not love or joy.

All of this because I can’t trust myself, because (let’s face it) I don’t much LIKE myself. I’m always trying to prove my worth by PERFORMING, but I can’t fully perform because I don’t trust myself to do what’s “right.” I’m on a mission to heal my trust with myself. I want to invite you to join me on this mission if any of this resonates with you.

What if— all this time— you have always been totally, completely enough… and there is nothing to prove? What if everything you do could be FROM love instead of FOR love? Imagine how much you would accomplish when there is no self-loathing. What would you spend your time on instead? We would be able to do our true work in the world instead of always overcoming ourselves!

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I am ALL IN on that! Are you?