I find that most of us don’t know HOW to FEEL.
In this episode, I talk about WHY this is, and then give some tips on how to feel– as a starter.
This will be an important episode to listen to, especially if you tend to focus on either what to DO or what to THINK.
Full Show Notes
Sometimes, we get to the end of a session and my client will ask “But what do I DO now?”
And whenever I hear that— it’s a huge red flag that the client actually needs to FEEL more.
It’s a SIMPLE thing, but not necessarily EASY.
Why is it not easy?
- Our culture is so focused on doing and productivity.
- There’s nothing to “show” for the feeling work.
- We are so disconnected from our bodies that we don’t even know how to feel.
- And maybe, sometimes, because our nervous systems are on alert, so it’s not safe to slow down and turn inward.
How do we turn feeling into an action so that we can get more on board with the doing of feeling?
Sometimes we know how we feel—
- Anger! Frustration! Sadnesss… Resentment. We can label the feeling, but we don’t know HOW to feel it.
Here’s a question to ask yourself: How do I know I’m feeling ___?
This will drop you into the sensation level of your emotions. It takes you to your felt sense. This practice of describing or knowing how you feel on a sensation level is called interoception. There are so many reasons to get good at this. I’ll just give you one: studies show that there is a relationship between depression and being unpracticed at interoception.
It might not feel safe to feel. What to do to increase your capacity to feel:
- Grounding- connects us to the present moment or to our bodies
- Orienting- slowly look around, letting your glance fall on anything pleasant
- Movement- walking, yoga
- Breathing- meditation, deep breaths,
- I.e. Mindfulness. Slowing down and using your senses.
- Ask for support. Speak what you need.
I hesitate to say anything else, because, speaking from experience, that is a lot already! So I’m going to keep this one short and sweet.
Please don’t forget to sign up for my upcoming workshop called Understanding Trauma. I’m going to make trauma really simple, and we will go more in-depth on some practices you can do to get better at feeling. Because with trauma, it’s all about a felt-sense of safety. Go to denitabremer.com/links to sign up. There will be teaching and also Q&A or coaching if anyone wants to try out the action of feeling with some guided help.
Sign off: That’s enough for now, and so are you.
If this episode made you think about yourself or others in a new way, would you please give it a rating and a review or share it with a friend? And if you’re ready to overcome your inner obstacles and endure this life better, go to denitabremer.com/links to sign up for my free workshop. Until next time, go be you and follow the Spirit.