If i’m so blessed, why can’t I feel good? Maybe its because you aren’t questioning the significance and impact of your expectations. Listen to find out if you simply expecting to feel bad is because you doubt yourself and not your doubts.

Scriptures

Alma 30:44 all things denote there is a God; yea, even the earth, and all things that are upon the face of it, yea, and its motion, yea, and also all the planets which move in their regular form do witness that there is a Supreme Creator.

2 Kings 6 They that be with us are more than they that be with the enemy.

14 Therefore sent he thither horses, and chariots, and a great host: and they came by night, and compassed the city about.

15 And when the servant of the man of God was risen early, and gone forth, behold, an host compassed the city both with horses and chariots. And his servant said unto him, Alas, my master! how shall we do?

16 And he answered, Fear not: for they that be with us are more than they that be with them.

17 And Elisha prayed, and said, Lord, I pray thee, open his eyes, that he may see. And the Lord opened the eyes of the young man; and he saw: and, behold, the mountain was full of horses and chariots of fire round about Elisha.

If you’re listening to this podcast, it’s likely you share my faith as a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. We believe in a kind, compassionate God. But sometimes I wonder if we simply say we believe that God is and that he is loving, but then we act otherwise.

Sometimes this happens because the humans in our life don’t treat us the way we believe God would, so it’s difficult for us to expect God to be kind and loving if we’ve never had a good example of it.

Ask Yourself

Do you expect God is with you?

Is God on your side or against you?

Do you expect life is good?

Or do you expect life to be crappy?

Do you expect people to understand you?

Or do you expect nobody likes you, gets you, want you?

Do you expect good things to happen?

Or do you expect you’ll have to work hard for every good thing?

Do you expect abundance? blessings, money, time, help?

Or do you expect you will have only enough to survive?

Do you expect you will go to bed on time?

Or do you see yourself doing one more thing and pushing bedtime off?

Do you expect you will wake up feeling refreshed?

Or do you expect you will feel groggy upon wake up?

Do you expect your kids to be disrespectful?

Or do you expect they will be respectful?

Do you expect church to be boring?

Or do you expect it will be a revelatory experience?

(I know that we can’t move the needle with just our expectations on these things, but it can make a difference.)

Energy

Our expectations and assumptions show what we are an energetic match for. And then more of that comes to us.

This is not woo. This is science.

D&C 131:7 All spirit is matter, and we know that matter and energy are interchangeable

The human body has an electric charge, and in the case of electricity, like attracts like.

So if you are expecting to feel bad, you’ll be in the energy of attracting things that make you feel bad. It’s almost as if whatever we believe, we see evidence that makes it true and we ignore evidence that doesn’t support that belief. Expectations are simply specific forms of beliefs.

But how do we change our expectations?

Doubt Your Doubts

We hear this from somebody recently said that in general conference.  And I like this idea because it’s quippy. It’s easy to remember, but what it looks like in real life is asking yourself, “What if I’m wrong  now, this goes against our survival brain because our survival brain always wants to be right because right equals safe.”

If we know what to expect, then we know how to stay safe. Doubting your doubts requires you to have some awareness over your expectations, right? So there’s kind of an inherent two parts to this. First, start to notice what your expectations are and then if they’re not positive expectations, if you’re not expecting yourself to feel good and for good things to happen, start to question whether you could be wrong.

Seek out evidence contrary to your expectation

Obviously, this is for our expectations that lead us to things that we don’t want, right? If you expect life to be good in general, then we don’t have to seek out evidence to the contrary, but we’re specifically targeting expectations that don’t serve us.

Seek out evidence to the contrary of your expectation. If you expect that your child will be disrespectful, then look for ways that they are respectful.

For example, be a data collector instead of a data prover.  Instead of trying to prove yourself right, step back and have sort of a scientific mindset here. We don’t know what the data means.  We’re just gathering data. 

Decide A Different Expectation

What if you just decided to expect that today is going to be a good day? And then you went throughout your day carrying that expectation. What might happen? We can be the data collector, right? Try it on the way you try on a shirt or a pair of shoes. We can be the data collector, right?

This step is really experiencing it, trying it on for real. Not just saying, “Okay, I’m just going to go through the motions of expecting this,” but REALLY expect it! Feel it in your body and then see what happens. 

Consider how trials could be the very thing you need

Observe how the things that we think are bad for us could be the very things that we need or that are good for us.  This helps you to see everything from the paradigm that life is working for you instead of the paradigm working against you. 

If something happens say, I split something. Now I have to go change and I’m going to be late. If I paused and I said, “Hmm, I wonder how this is working in my favor?” It’s possible that incident might have been what I needed.

Consider how our trials, how our difficulties could be the very thing that we need, or it could be the something better.  And when we think about the difficult parts of our life, whether it’s something small, like spilling something on your shirt or a big event, like my husband wants a divorce. Pause and think, how is this good for me? How is this working in my favor? 

Recently in general conference, somebody talked about a prayer. The friend said, “Heavenly Father, please let this thing happen.” I think they were like looking for a house to buy or something better.  And sometimes I think we say our prayers and we expect a certain thing and when that thing doesn’t come true, we don’t see it as something better or working in our favor. 

Recap

  1. Doubt your doubts
    1. What if I’m wrong?
    2. goes against our survival brain bc our brain always wants to be “right” because right = safe
    3. comes with awareness
  2. Seek out evidence contrary to your expectation.
    1. Be a data collector instead of trying to prove yourself right.
  3. Decide a different expectation
    1. Then see what happens
  4. Consider how trials could be the very thing you need, ie. something better
    1. This helps you see everything from the paradigm that life is working for you.
    2. And that feels pretty great!

If you feel blessed, but not good, maybe you have expectations that don’t serve you.

I would love to connect with you! If you’d like to connect with me email podcast@denitabremer.com or come find me on Instagram or Facebook at Denita Bremer.

Last thing, before I send you off: This is a brand new podcast, and I think it has the potential to do a lot of good in the world. If you want to give some good back and help this podcast grow, please take a moment to leave a rating (that’s where you choose 5 stars), or a review (that’s where you give a sentence or two about what you like about the podcast), or share it with a friend (that’s where you share to social media or grab the link and send it to a friend saying “I think you should listen to this.”

Starting next week with the March 18th 2024 episode, and every Monday episode after that for 5 weeks, I will randomly choose one reviewer to win one of 5 juicy prizes. The sooner you leave a review (thank you!) the more chances you’ll have to win.

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That’s enough for now, and so are you!

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Cello music is written, recorded and produced by Jacqueline Walker.

This podcast is recorded by me, Denita Bremer, and produced by Denita Bremer Studios.