I have something to celebrate, and I want to share it with you. After listening to this episode, you will understand the value of celebration, as well as some things that inform my coaching to bring you and my clients high quality, in depth coaching.
This is episode 132 of the Trauma Coaching for Latter Day Saints Podcast. I’m celebrating. Here’s why. I’m your host, Denita Bremer. I’m on a mission to help members of the Church of Jesus Christ, of Latter Day Saints heal from trauma. I’m on my healing journey and I’m a quadruple certified life coach. Take a deep breath, slip your AirPods in, and come with me to learn how to heal and find lasting joy.
Okay, so I am celebrating today and I am not very good at celebrating. I tend to shy away, but it’s summer. The weather is getting beautiful and warm, albeit we do have thunder showers in the afternoon. I have.
A kiddo going away to Costa Rica for a Spanish immersion trip. I have a wedding to attend this weekend. I have another kid going to FSY and a husband going outta town, so next week I am going to be. Home alone by myself soaking up the silence and loving it. And that’s not why I’m celebrating, but it all just kind of goes together to help me get into the feeling of celebration.
I’m celebrating because I finished. I. What I call my trauma certification, it’s the actual name of it is called Embodied Healing Systems with Shilah Cash. So if you are interested, check out her website, shyla cash.com spelled exactly like it sounds. She is amazing. She’s phenomenal. Her program is phenomenal.
I learned so much, and also I learned how much I still have left to learn type of thing. So that’s like my favorite thing. And I, it’s a 10 month long program and I finished and I am, I have another certification under my belt. And I learned so much from going through this program that I really wanted to take some time to reflect and also to integrate a little bit of what I learned.
So I’m going to mention some of these things that I learned to you. I’ll mention what eh is. E h s is why I did it. And then we’ll go into what I learned that I never want to forget, and we’re gonna cover a lot of ground today, but I’m gonna go pretty fast because I want this to be a high level view of some of the things that I’ve been learning over the last.
Not quite a whole year. And yeah, and I’m just so proud of the work that I’ve done in applying what I’m learning. First of all, learning, it’s a lot, it was a lot of sort of intellectual work. But then the application of it to myself and with my clients, and. As I will explain, it was a lot and there were times when I felt a little bit burnt out. Not fully burnt out, but a little overwhelmed with, you know, what was happening and all the things that were coming at me. And I also did some other fun things in my business this year. So, you know, just the joys of being human and a human in particular that wants to continue to. Grow and push herself and learn new things.
So first of all, what is EHS? EHS is Embodied Healing systems. It is brilliantly named, but I do recognize that not everybody really understands the word embodied. Basically. To me, what embodied means is, that you have a connection with yourself and that in real time you are noticing and feeling how you feel, right?
It’s not just this intellectualized, mode of feeling, like thinking about how I should feel and like feeling from kind of a. A mind place, it’s actually dropping into your body, feeling, connecting, and allowing yourself to be and have the experience you are having. So that’s what embodied means to me.
What embodied means to me, and the rest of the name of this program is Embodied Healing. And systems. So healing is this idea that we’re not just managing or coping with symptoms, but we’re actually getting to the root cause of those symptoms and unwinding, unraveling, you know, the, the dynamics that have been formed inside of our bodies.
And the relationship with our mind as well. Our mind does play a part, but really kind of healing, like changing, shifting the actual dynamic instead of coping with or managing the dynamic. And then systems. I remember probably three quarters of the way through this program. I was just reflecting on all the different things that we’ve learned and how they sort of inform one another and how there’s all these different levels of systems inside of our bodies, in our relationships, in culture.
All of these different levels of systems and how I thought it was just so brilliant that Shilah named this program Embodied Healing Systems. It really encapsulates. The, the essence of what she was teaching us to do. Now I call it my trauma certification program. I don’t know that Shilah necessarily calls it a trauma certification, but that’s because that’s why I signed up for this program.
I recognized that there was some trauma coming up for me, especially as I tried to move forward in my business that was really keeping me back from. From being this fearless, courageous version of me that, you know, wants to shout to the rooftops how I can help people. And, and so for me it was the trauma that was coming up for me and how do I heal this?
How do I get on the other side of it? How do I not allow it to, hold me back in some way? So I always think of it as my trauma certification because I was in it. Partially for myself, learning for myself what some of these things meant and how they affected me. And I’ll get into a little more detail about what I’m referring to.
So that I could apply it to myself so that I could heal from my own trauma. Now, I did work with Shyla through private coaching before I joined Embodied Healing Systems, and that was a great experience. I probably wouldn’t have jumped straight into Embodied Healing Systems if I hadn’t worked with her first, and I just have to rave about Shyla.
She is the real deal. She’s on her own journey and. Really is so good at applying things to herself and then kind of creating a simplified version that makes some of these concepts more accessible to others and understanding them and applying them to ourselves, applying them in our coaching with our clients.
So never did I feel like she was, you know, out of her element or she didn’t really know what she was talking about. I always, always get this feeling from her that she is only teaching us things that she, herself has really applied and thought deeply about and understands deeply. And I just so admire that about Shyla.
Having been coached by her for six months through private coaching, I knew that I really wanted to do her Embodied Healing Systems because I knew it was gonna be in depth. I knew that it was gonna be the real deal. I knew that she was going to have deeply thought about all of the things and, and make them as simple as possible, as accessible as possible, but also that we’re talking about some things that have some complexity to them, and I thought she did such a great job.
Navigating both of those, you know, the complexity of the issue, but also trying to simplify it so that you can apply it as much as possible. Okay, so what did I learn that I never wanna forget? And the first thing that I am really celebrating and I’m really proud of in myself is doing something in particular this, this Embodied Healing Systems program, because I genuinely wanted to do it and be there.
Not because I felt pressure or rushed or you know, like I should in some way, but that it was coming from a place in me that I genuinely wanted to learn and understand. And I can’t tell you this valedictorian, this good student. Probably has not learned very many things for that reason in my entire life of over 40 years of being alive.
I feel like I have lived my life, intellectualizing everything, so that I can kind of chase that feeling of I’m smart, I’m worthy, I’m valuable because of what I know. And in this program I really did the work of, I wanna be here. For me, it for sure is gonna benefit my clients too, but I wanna be here for me and for my understanding, and if I never use this work in my professional life, that’s okay.
And also that kind of went hand in hand with a couple other elements here that I’m really quite proud of. And I, I actually don’t know if in this moment I have really allowed myself to feel the weight. The, of the importance of these things. And the first one is allowing myself to be in the middle of learning and applying.
So allowing myself to be in kind of that messy middle and not necessarily knowing everything but practicing anyway. And that that’s really hard for someone who historically wants to be the good student and wants to get the right answers. And so I notice myself often like, Wanting to be right, but also wanting to do it because I genuinely wanted to learn.
I think there’s a difference there, and it’s, I don’t know. This program really helped me understand the difference and what that difference feels like in my body. The difference between being embodied and intellectualizing, for example, your feelings, you can think about, oh, I feel excited. But do you actually feel excited?
And maybe I’ll do another in-depth podcast episode about that. But this is one of the first experiences, maybe the first experience where I really practiced the embodiment of it. I really applied it to myself. I really slowed down. Even though there were parts of me that wanted to go faster and wanted to just learn it and just be at that place where I understand it and I know it, but really like enjoying the process of learning it and being okay with being in that messy middle.
I don’t, I don’t know how to explain it more than that, than just this. Not feeling shame about not understanding something or like not fully having mastered it and actually enjoying that. That’s pretty revolutionary for me. I mentioned slowing down. That is something that I learned like slowing down almost like how slow can you go?
It helped me to learn how to hold better space for my clients. And by the way, if you’re a coach, you might wanna get on my email list and watch for an offer around this because. This has really transformed my coaching, how to really understand and feel when you’re holding space and when you’re holding abundant good space and when.
You’re just kind of holding space on the surface. So I, I have something in the works, like I haven’t actually started it yet, but I have some ideas going. I’ve already talked to several coaches about this and I don’t know what the timeline is gonna be on it, but get on my email list so that you will know when it, when it happens.
And last thing I’ll say about this idea of doing something because I genuinely want to, and for my own learning and growth is, Learning how to apply what I’m learning in a way that works for me. And a lot of coaches will say like, I help you figure out the way that works for you, but what does that actually mean?
Really what it means is like there’s three options and I’ve help you figure out the one that’s best for you, but. Really, there are like infinite options. And this requires you to be connected with yourself and to notice when you’re not connected with yourself and to integrate what you’re learning to like allow it to land for you.
Kind of, I, I’m struggling with these words, but like allowing it to be there and to kind of soak in and not to rush to the next thing. So, Because it’s, it’s only from that place of where you allow it to land. You allow it to kind of soak in, you sort of pause with it, that then you know the next step for you.
It’s not this one size fits all, 1-2-3 step program. It’s first you have to get to this step, and then once you’re there, Then you take your time and you look around and then you know the next step. Maybe it’s to the left, maybe it’s to the right, maybe it’s straight and for in front of you, maybe it’s to take a step back?
So I’m using that as an analogy, but, but really giving myself full permission to. Have my experience to allow it to be what it is, to not try to rush through, to not try to get to the next thing, because that’s what I think I should be doing, but to really enjoy the process, to connect with myself, to connect with my inner knowing, and to let that integrate.
And also celebrate? That’s like one of the reasons why I’m doing this celebration episode because like I said, I’m not historically very good at celebrating, but really like celebrating is part of how we integrate, how we let things land. Okay, so I’m gonna go on to the next thing cuz that was a lot of, a lot of things all sort of wrapped around doing something that I genuinely want to do.
Without rush, without pressure, and all the things I learned from that. The second thing I wanted to say about Embodied Healing Systems is understanding that the nervous system, really, I should say the nervous systems are the ultimate context. They are the ultimate elegant solution, and I have had people say, well, like.
It seems like, you know, it’s a nervous system thing is just an explanation for everything, and there’s a difference between using something to explain and like making it fit and. It just fits. It just makes sense. It just all comes together and it’s like this, this higher, a higher law maybe that explains all the things that I’ve been trying to understand.
So I get it. I get the frustration in. But wait, the nervous system can just explain everything. And I’m like, yes. That’s the beauty of it is it is an elegant solution to pretty much everything. And I, I wanna take that back. It’s not an elegant solution. Sometimes it is the solution, but it’s really an elegant context.
It’s the what all the problems and solutions should be couched in, in order to make. Effective change within us. Part of this was for me, learning the relationship between attachment theory, polyvagal theory, phases of trauma response and the nervous system, like how they all related to the nervous system and how they all related to each other.
And when I finally could understand that, that’s when I started thinking about. All the other problems in our lives, the relationship problems, the health problems, the money problems, whatever it is, and how understanding the nervous system and the different states of the nervous system really helps to give context to any other problem slash solution.
And I just wanna give kind of special mention to the phases of trauma response. I probably think of the trace, the phases of trauma response every day. That’s how useful it is for me to understand what our nervous system goes through when we are meeting trauma. I have an actual episode on this. It’s called Phases of Trauma Response, and it dropped December 19th, 2022.
If you wanna go back and listen to that one, paradigm, I guess, I guess it’s a paradigm. Really helped me. Just understand my, my whole life, my own self, all of it. And then I’ll just kind of throw in here, she did teach us a bit about addiction and, you know, why people get addicted, why it makes sense, how, you know, how it fits in with the nervous system and all of that.
And that really helped me because I have family members with addiction that affected me and how I grew up and how I came to view myself and really how my identity came to form.
And then the last thing I will say that I learned that I hope to improve upon and that I don’t ever forget is how to take action while staying really truly connected to myself. This one skill has, I think, really changed how I approach my life and my business. Yeah, because I used to just sort of go through the motions, like thinking, okay, so and so says you should do this, and so then I just do it. But like staying connected to myself and to my intuition has helped me. Make better decisions, it has helped me stay in connection with myself anyway, so I have really enjoyed this program.
Highly recommend to anyone who is interested in learning about these things that I mentioned. And if you have, you know, trauma. Traumatic events in your past. I always recommend Shyla. She is, you know, kind of a premium type of coach, but I think it’s very valuable to, to explore other coaches and other methods.
I highly recommend her. And I just wanna say in closing, just I am really proud of myself for doing this 10 month program. It was pretty intense, more intense than I expected at times, and less intense at others. I thoroughly enjoyed everything that we were learning and enjoyed kind of the intensity of it, even.
It kind of felt like being in college again in a way. Which, if you enjoy being a student is a good thing, but if you don’t, maybe not, maybe not such a good thing. But yeah, I’m just really proud of myself for going through it and proud of all the things I learned. I’m celebrating. I feel like this will be a milestone, kind of like before EHS and after EHS in the future.
So I’m just, I’m just really proud of myself and I’m excited for my future clients and the, the quality of coaching that they will receive.
That’s enough for now. And so are you.
Thank you for listening, sharing, and leaving ratings and reviews. If you’re ready to address your own trauma with my support, go to denitabremer.com to schedule a free trauma assessment call, and if you schedule one of those between now and August 1st, 2023, ask me about my Summertime Special for a super low-cost, easy way to work with me.
Until next time, go be yourself and follow the spirit.