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Full Show Notes

Two Paradigms

Have Do Be and Be Do Have is not a new concept. You can google it and find lots of information. I’ve heard of it before, but it never really landed until reading about this paradigm in The Map of Consciousness Explained by Dr. David Hawkins.

We default to the Have-do-be paradigm. This makes sense from a developmental point of view. Young children are often focused on the having. As we move into teenager-hood and young adulthood, we fixate on the doing. And then, some of us, move into a being focus as we figure out what we want for our lives.

At lower levels of consciousness, we focus on what we have.

Young children want things.

As we increase in our consciousness, our focus become more about what we DO.

At the high school level, it’s all about what classes you take, what are your extracurriculars, what are your hobbies? Do you have a job?

We look at the “cool” kids and want to do what they do.

And as we continue to the highest levels of consciousness, it becomes more about how you are BEING.

Look at Jesus Christ, Buddha, Mother Theresa… these are all people who attained the highest levels of consciousness. They definitely weren’t concerns with what they had. They had very little as far as materials possessions go.

And they weren’t really so much concerned about what they were doing, although we may look at them and notice their actions.

They were much more concerned with their identities.

I think of the have-do-be paradigm as climbing a mountain. First we must HAVE (time, money, space, cars, houses) in order to DO what we want (vacation, travel, research, speak, etc) so that we can BE (rich, famous, admired, etc).

A Higher Consciousness

The problem is, this is all backwards. Even as adults, we get “stuck” on focusing on the having and doing instead of the being.

This is kinda like stages of faith, but stages of consciousness. What is consciousness? A short and simple definition would be your level of awareness of yourself and the world.

This also reminds me of last week’s episode- the one where I talked about the Lion King?- Mufasa tells Simba “You have forgotten who you are, and thus have forgotten me.” This is an instruction to BE, not to focus on having or doing.

This also goes back to my interview with Tyson Bradley. His whole book is about uncovering, rediscovering who you already are. And starting with that.

This new paradigm asks us to consider that very thing.

What if we were focused on BEING first? We don’t have to have and do before we BE!

Then the doing would flow. It’s not that we don’t DO anything; it’s simply that the action is not the primary focus. The primary focus on on who/what we are BEING.

Some Examples

Let’s use an example: acting.

So many people want to be famous actors, including one of my own children.

When she is focused on having an acting career, she is going to be pining away at it, but not necessarily taking much useful action.

When she is focused on what famous actors DO, she might get obsessed with certain brands to wear or how she wears her hair or make up. She might get focused on having money so that she can do what famous actors do— go on vacation, buy fancy houses and cars. The having and the doing will be very much about the image.

But what if she was focused on BEING an actress? Then she would have to figure out who successful actresses ARE. Who are they? How do they think and feel?

It wouldn’t be so much about what they have or what they do, though those things will be a smaller factor.

Who would my daughter BE if she were a famous actress? If she was that in the world, she might HAVE more acting opportunities. She might go to acting school and get a degree or audition for plays. When it comes from her beingness, the having and the doing will feel much easier.

That’s what I want for you.


Let’s try the example of spirituality.

When we focus on having our prayers answered or having a testimony or having a perfect family, we are not actually being a disciple of Christ. Disciples of Christ focus on Christ and being more Christ-like.

We can also get caught up in the “doing” of the gospel. Saying our prayers, going to church, reading our scriptures, attending the temple, etc, etc, etc. No wonder why some of you are getting burnt-out on the Gospel!! Focusing on the doing is overwhelming!

Instead focus on being a disciple of Christ, or being close to the Spirit. Then allow the doing and the having flow from your being. If you are a disciple of Christ and you sometimes forget to read your scriptures, then a disciple of Christ doesn’t always read their scriptures. But you are still a disciple of Christ.

I think sometimes, too, when we focus on being like Christ, we assume in our minds that he was always a kind, compassionate, grounded being. But he had to learn precept upon precept just like us. It’s just that it takes up such a small description in the scriptures, so we don’t often stop and think about what they might have looked like for Christ.

Focus on being. Let the doing and having come to you. Let it be easy.


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