Some recent personal revelation has lead me to today’s episode. I have to talk more about Jesus from here on out, and this episode explains why. Spoiler: it’s because He is the true source of all healing.

So I’ve had some recent Spiritual experiences is what I call them, uh, conversations with God, with Jesus Christ, whatever, however you want to conceptualize this.

And I think I’m going to back up to several days ago when I restarted the challenge from Wendy Watson Nelson’s book, Change Your Questions, Change Your Life. In this book, she suggests that if we ask the Lord a question every single day, And then we open our scriptures or a general conference talk. Or something like that with the intention of reading until we get an answer that every day we will get an answer.

So I was listening to somebody else. I had done this challenge years and years ago. The whole reason why I started homeschooling my kids. And I was listening to somebody else. I can’t remember if it was on social media or if it was a podcast or something, but somebody else mentioned this book and this challenge.

And I thought, you know what? I think it’s a good time to revisit this challenge. So I decided to do that very thing, but I didn’t really know what questions I had for the Lord. And so I started with the question, what should I be asking you? And then I had my journal ready for answers, and I got more than I bargained for.

The answer that I received was that I felt like Christ was telling me, you’re focusing too much on myself. I’m focusing too much on myself, which, ouch, that’s never a fun thing to hear. And the one really, really clear message that came through was that. I’m focusing on coaching, somatic work and mindset, feeling your emotions, but that that’s not where true healing comes from.

True healing comes From Jesus Christ and something I hear all the time when I’m in prayer is Heal my daughters heal my daughters. And so I have this sense that one of my Works in this life is to help heavenly father’s daughters to heal now There’s a lot of different ways that healing It could be physical healing.

It could be emotional healing. It could be spiritual healing. It could be, you know, healing from trauma, whatever. But I have this sense that kind of one of my jobs, one of the things that the Lord has set upon my heart is to help God’s daughters heal. whatever way they need to heal in order to grow closer to him so that then they can go do their work in the world.

I feel like this has been my journey is healing so that I can be my full self and make the impact on the world that I was meant to make, whether that’s a big impact or a small impact. I don’t know yet, but that’s sort of. What always comes up when I have prayers like this, when I receive personal revelation is this idea of healing my daughters, bringing people to Christ.

That’s part of my work in the world. So as I sat with that, I started to notice that. I have some resistance to talking about Jesus, and I really kind of dug into this. I brought this to one of my coaches and I realized that one of my judgments or one of my thoughts when I see other people talking about Jesus is that it feels shallow and through Coaching with one of my coaches, I came to this conclusion that my relationship with Jesus Christ is very intimate.

It’s very personal. It’s very sacred. And I don’t want to quote unquote, cast my pearls before swine. Right? I just feel like I know that the spirit is calling me to be a little more public with my story and my experiences, especially my experiences with how do I feel the spirit? How do I receive such an immense flow of revelation?

And I want to share those things. And there are certain situations that I have no problem sharing those things. Like during fast and testimony meeting, I have zero problem getting up and bear my testimony. Although sometimes I do have to wait until the spirit is screaming at me because I feel like I bear my testimony so often that.

I’m just like, no, people don’t need to hear from me. So I have to get to the point where it’s really, really obvious that I am supposed to bear my testimony before I actually go do it. So that was, that came up this resistance to talking about Jesus. I think I had. Some resistance to being perceived as like a religious zealot, which to be honest, I’m, I kind of am.

I really love my faith and my religion and holy habits. Like. I sometimes wish I could just get paid to do all of those things that I could get paid to read my scriptures. Like sometimes I’m jealous of professional, um, seminary teachers. Oh, I want to do that, but that has not been my place and my calling in this world.

I haven’t been led to that, but there’s a part of me that kind of likes that idea. Like if I could just spend all day reading scriptures and studying and, you know, that kind of thing, I think I would really love that. So. I recognize that there’s this resistance. I did some work to kind of figure out where the resistance was coming from.

And one, another thing that came up was that I can talk one on one with people. I can talk on my podcast. I can bear my testimony in church. None of that bothers me at all. So what I realized is like, I was really trying to pinpoint what’s the thing that rubs me the wrong way. When I see other people talking about Jesus, and it came down to this idea that when it’s written, when somebody writes about Christ, like if I see them in a video and I can really feel where they’re coming from, which sometimes I see people and it feels performative.

It feels like they’re just like putting on a show and then it’s not genuine. And that does bother me a little bit. I mean, people get to do what people get to do, right? I don’t. I don’t have control over that. It’s not my business, but when I notice it, it’s, it acts as a mirror to what’s happening inside of me.

And I was noticing that it was kind of rubbing me the wrong way a little bit. And I think there’s this element of if it’s performative, I don’t like it. I don’t want to be performative, right? I want it to be genuine. I want it to be coming from the deepest place in my heart. And then the other thing was when it’s written.

I feel like it falls flat or it’s shallow or like the, the feeling, the passion behind it doesn’t always come across. And as you might have guessed, um, have I mentioned on this podcast that I’m writing a book? If I haven’t, I am writing a book, I feel prompted to write a book about my experiences with trauma and how my faith really has helped me get through those traumas and get to a place of post traumatic growth, which I will talk about in a future episode.

And, but I’ve been struggling, I’ve been struggling with like, I know I’m supposed to write this. This book, but I don’t quite know like what’s the point of the book. What’s the thesis statement kind of thing? So I sort of started writing some Stories from my life and if you go way back to the beginning of this podcast I’ve told a lot of stories from my life, but the prompting has really been to write a book And so I noticed there was like this, this obstacle with writing the book.

And as I was diving into like all my thoughts about other people talking about Jesus or writing about Jesus, that’s where I was realizing with writing, sometimes it falls flat for me because it’s, I can’t like feel the passion and the emotion from the other person. And so of course this is affecting my ability to write my ability to show up on places like social media where.

I think I genuinely think that I’m doing good in the world, but I also don’t want to come across as shallow or performative or doing this for the wrong reasons. I guess I don’t want to blaspheme or speak Christ’s name in vain. And all of those things were becoming obstacles, but here’s where the butt comes in.

It’s true. This, this answer that I got from day one of the challenge that. Healing, true healing, doesn’t necessarily come from feeling our feelings, doing the somatic work, doing mindset work, um, you know, priming our vagus nerve, like all those things that I’m really into. These things help people don’t, don’t get me wrong.

These help, but true healing comes through Jesus Christ. And so that caused me to reflect on my own healing journey and something that I hadn’t ever. Really put into words or conceptualized in the same way was that my healing and my journey, you know, a lot of terrible, awful things have happened. A lot of really hard things, a lot of amazing things have happened, but one thing I didn’t stop to think about was the role that Jesus played in all of this, right?

The role that faith has played for my healing. And I realized that everything that I’ve done every. Um, action, I’ve taken becoming a coach or starting a business. Um, any of that stuff was grounded in a knowledge of Jesus Christ as a powerful being who loves me and knows me and helps me. I came to that knowledge very young and I’ve.

While I have had a point in time in my life where I stepped away from the church, I never left Jesus Christ and I never felt like he left me and I never doubted him. I stopped going to church, but my testimony of a God who knows me and loves me and answers my prayers. So when things got difficult, I, at looking back now, I can see that I always clung to my beliefs and to a God that loves me.

When my mom died, I had an experience where I could see that I could walk away and not believe in God and not believe in anything. Faith in any of that stuff or I could move forward with faith and I chose to move forward with faith When I had a moment when my sexual abuser Came into my mind and I realized that I had been sexually abused which didn’t happen until I was in college I had this moment where I was like, I could be really angry about this But instead I like gave it over to Jesus.

I was like, you know what? Everyone will meet their maker and will have to answer for their own sins. And it was like, poof, gone. No animosity. None of that, right? When we moved to Germany and my kids went to school all day all of a sudden and I had been homeschooling then and I felt really depressed because I was in a cold, dark, wet place.

And I was alone all of a sudden. I couldn’t speak the language. I turned to Jesus. I turned to immersing myself in scriptures and journaling. And like, that was my baseline when I started a business, having this business was a prompting from God. Like I would not be here doing this really hard thing, by the way, if I didn’t feel like God wanted me to do it.

I felt prompted to get certified as a life coach, and then I felt prompted to start a business. And. And to choose the entrepreneur path because the life coach school told us that pretty soon there’s going to be so many people that are going to want to be hiring coaches. You don’t have to have your own business.

You’ll just, you can get hired with someone else. And I clearly felt prompted to become an entrepreneur. It’s not the answer I wanted, but when I did that, I turned to God instead of trying to rely on my own merits on my own skills. But I just want to say that like to keep myself humble here. More recently, I think I’ve been focusing more on my own strengths and skills and how do I do this?

And what do I do? And this prayer that was answered I think was a reminder to me that I have to rely on Jesus Christ. Like none of this is possible without Jesus Christ, without his enabling power. So, he has been leading me on this journey this whole time, but it has always been about him even when I don’t see that.

It’s never been about a modality. Do I use the model? Do I do thought work? Do I do somatic work? Like it’s never been about a modality or something that I’ve learned. Or having a business or making money or any of that, it has always been about my relationship with Jesus Christ and following the promptings of the spirit that I receive.

One thing I love to think about is that in the LDS Bible dictionary under repentance, the entry for repentance says it’s a change of mind, a fresh view about God, oneself, and about the world. And I just. I just love that. I think that’s, that’s the purpose. And also in come follow me recently in Colossians chapter one, verses 26 and 27, you’ll find this word in other verses as well, but that those were the ones that I found the most easily.

Paul talks about the mystery. He uses this word mystery, the mysteries of God. And in my study, when I was studying Colossians, I came across this idea and I apologize, I don’t remember where it came from. I think it was a podcast that I listened to, but I listened to several podcasts. And in my study, this idea came across my radar that the mystery refers to how God changes us, how we are healed and changed.

led through the repentance process by God. That’s the mystery. How do people’s hearts and minds change? That’s the mystery. When people decide to get baptized, they have had a change of mind or a change of heart about God or about themselves or about the world. And that I feel like is the essence of the work that I do is helping people remove the obstacles, the emotional and mental obstacles so that they can more fully create this change, specifically a change that will bring them closer to heavenly father, to Jesus Christ.

So let me just change gears really quickly, but I promise it’ll all come together as I’ve been thinking about my business and all the things I’m doing. I have presence, which is a one year small group. Membership, I do one on one coaching still, and I just did, I just started this other little fun offer, which is teaching.

I’m taking five people through a program, a six month program to teach them how to coach. I have my podcast, I have social media. I have this book that I’m writing that I feel the spirit keeps telling me. Focus on your book. Focus on your book. So I have all these things and more, right? I have a family. I have a house to keep up with.

I have a calling. Like my life is full and my life is amazing. Y’all don’t get me wrong. My life is amazing. I love my life. I have come so far, but in my business, I’ve been focusing on this specific dollar number, this, this revenue number. And it wasn’t about making money or becoming rich or anything like that.

It was about this idea that my husband thinks he’s going to die young and I want to be able to provide for myself if I need to possibly to be able to provide for my kids. I want to be able to, I’m probably not going to make as much money as he makes, but I would love to be able to make enough money that if we streamlined our expenses, that I could cover those bills that felt really compelling to me.

But as I’ve been living in the breakthrough of all of these promptings. All of this messaging from the spirit. I believe it’s messaging from the spirit, from God. I realized that my very own money goal and the reason for it to be able to provide for myself and for my family if I need to, is an invitation to trust the Lord more.

Like, what if the Lord is saying, forget about that money goal. Just pray every day. And just do that day, what I direct you on, which is what we’ve heard. Prophets tell us, right? Just pray and then act in faith on those prayers. So I sometimes can get overwhelmed by all these things I have going on. And what am I supposed to focus on?

And I cannot tell you how many times I have said the prayer. Like, what am I supposed to focus on? What’s the one thing that’s the most important thing. And it always feels. Like when I ask that question that the heavens are silent, right? And so today as I was sitting with my coach, I realized the reason for that is because all of these things I’ve been prompted to do.

I started my group program. I started presence. I wasn’t ready for that, but I felt like the spirit said, now’s the time. And so I started it, right? I became a coach because God said I like everything I do is because I feel the spirit directing my path. And then when I look at all the things that I feel directed to, I get a little overwhelmed like, Oh, which one am I supposed to focus on?

And it isn’t one. It’s focus on allowing the Lord to guide you. To direct you every day, every hour. And some days it might be write your book and some days it might be call that person another day. It might be record a podcast, right? So it’s like, I have all this stuff that is a tapestry of what I do and how I help people.

And I’m tempted to get overwhelmed, but God is like, just calm down. I got you. Every day, just pray and do what I say. And I noticed that that feels harder to me because then that means every day, I have to remember to stay close to heavenly father and to trust him and to trust that that part of me that really wants to make money is going to be taken care of that part of me that wants to know that if I need to, I can provide for myself and my family.

If I follow the promptings day by day by day. The Lord will provide for me. So that is why I need to talk more about Jesus because he is the source of all true healing because he is. The reason for everything that I do, and I realized that I don’t give him enough credit, especially here on the podcast. I talk a lot about what I’m learning and what I think will be helpful to you, especially for people that have some trauma that they’ve gone through, some dysfunctional family dynamics.

And I really need to be clear that I am a believer in Jesus Christ that he has guided and directed my life every step of the way that I owe everything to him and that everything that I do is because of him and that my healing, my own personal healing is grounded in a belief and a knowledge that Jesus is my savior and that he is the source of all healing.

Now, in addition to that, I love somatic work. I love meditation. I love coaching and being with people one on one and walking them through whatever difficulties and growth opportunities they’re going through. But underneath all of it for me has to be Jesus Christ. So if that rubs you the wrong way, I am so sorry, this might not be the podcast for you to listen to anymore.

If you can handle me talking about Jesus, even though you don’t believe in him or you’re not religious or whatever, but you can pull out the principles, then I invite you to continue to do that. But I am going to, for my own humility and to walk the walk that I profess. I am going to have to talk about him more.

I am going to have to talk about the faith side of things that I’ve been through and not take out that from all the trauma learning and all the healing and all the modalities and the books that I read and all of that. I have to make sure that if I’m being true to who I am and who I want to be, that Jesus Christ is part of that.

And I have been reprimanded by the spirit. For not doing so. So I thought I would just… Have a podcast episode about that, so that if you notice a shift, I hope it’s not, I hope that I can naturally bring in more of my faith because that is a big part of who I am, but that you know why, and that I’m not trying to hide anything, and I’m not trying to force anything on you, but this is just who I am, and this is a big part of my story, and so I have to talk about Jesus Christ more.

That’s enough for now, and so are you. Always. If you like this podcast, I know you would like my one year small group coaching program presence. Go to denisdebremer. com for more information. Remember that I’m a life coach, not a doctor or a psychologist. Any suggestions or advice mentioned in this podcast should not be a substitute for medical or mental health care.

Until next time, go be yourself and follow the spirit.