I had an experience this week feeling my own increased capacity and it helped me realize how important this somatic work is. I discuss the relationship between capacity and time/money/energy, and describe my experience.
Let’s talk about what it takes to truly heal and find lasting. So I had an entirely different podcast episode planned and written out, and then I really felt the Spirit saying that I should talk about my experience a few days ago feeling increased capacity inside myself.
Personal experience finding increased capacity
Before I get to that story, I want to just tell you that I like to go for walks. Usually they’re about 30, 45 minute long walks. And as I’m walking, sometimes I’ll listen to podcasts or a class or something. But usually I like to use that time to connect with God and almost like prayer or a prayerful, meditative walk. And I think it was yesterday, maybe the day before, I was walking and thinking and feeling and praying and meditating. I got this distinct impression that the Lord was telling me, help my daughters heal.
I know I don’t have a huge audience here, but I just want to testify to you that God is aware of you and he’s aware of your struggles, and he is bringing people to the forefront to help with healing and peace, and sometimes that can feel like a large task.
Mostly, I’m just like, yes, we all need more healing. And that’s one of my purposes here is to not only help myself, but help others find true healing and peace and joy. So I just wanna say, say that a couple of days ago in my trauma certification called Embodied Healing Systems run by Shyla Cash, we were learning and I volunteered to be the client on a demo. I can’t remember quite what was happening. I think I was just feeling a bit of overwhelm and, just a lot of activation, but also feeling like incapable.
But when, you know, when Shyla coaches me, there’s none of me telling her this story. It’s really just what’s happening in your body. And so she coached me. I felt really amazing after that. I just felt so grounded and present and capable. All the things that I want to feel. But during the coaching, I literally felt this feeling of increased capacity.
Feeling increased capacity using somatics
I think it’s because I’ve been working with Shyla for a year and a half, when she asks me to describe sensations in my body and can I stay with these sensations? Can I put all my focus on that sensation? Do I have the ability, the capacity to do that? Sometimes the answer is no. And to be honest, going forward, sometimes the answer will still be no. But in this experience a few days ago I was like, yes, I can definitely pay attention to this particular sensation. I think it was like a tenseness, almost like a shakiness in my midline in my belly kind of place.
I felt totally capable and it was completely available to. And as I was putting my attention on that sensation, I could almost split my attention. I could feel and be present with that sensation, but then also notice other things. And I didn’t stop to like say that or anything, but I was just inwardly, I was like, ah, oh my gosh!
I can feel that I have more capacity to be with my internal landscape. and it was quite mind blowing to me. And I know that I am describing something that you might not relate to, that you might not understand, and somatic work is often like this, like it’s kind of beyond words. But I want to describe this increased capacity is that I think this is what we really want. We say that, you know, I need more time, I need more energy, I need more money. Or really what it usually sounds like is I don’t have enough time. I don’t have enough money. I don’t have enough energy. I’m so tired.
At least that’s what it sounds like in my head, but perhaps what we really need is increased capacity. I think of the whole idea of, you know, whatever your income is, your expenses will expand to match that income. Whatever your time is, your tasks will expand to match that time. Like have you ever thought like, “I have so much time, I’m gonna like real quickly get this done.” But then it takes you like the whole time to get that one thing done that would normally not take that long, right? It’s like whatever we do have expands to meet the capacity that we have. So my thought here is maybe we actually need more capacity. and then the time, the money, the energy, whatever the, the missing thing that we think we need will flow in.
And it is just such a wonderful feeling to feel like my capacity is increasing now, capacity waxes and wanes. Throughout the day, throughout the week, month, year. It’s not like, oh, my capacity is now this amount and it will be that way forever. No, it waxes and wanes just like our energy waxes and wanes.
So it’s not like this is just a static amount of capacity that I have, but I think our maximum capacity is what we want to grow, right? So there might be times in your day or your week or your month where your capacity is less than your maximum, but can we grow that, that maximum capacity so that sometimes we can be in that maximum.
I want to offer you an increased capacity to be present to your internal landscape, your emotions, sensations, urges, all of that. And what will then happen is an increase of confidence, of peace of joy. We think, oh, I wanna be more confident, or I want more joy in my life, or I want more peace, but what if the Lord is trying to give us those things and we don’t have capacity for them?
So what if we focus on increasing our capacity? And for capacity, I’m really referring to this, this felt sense on the inside of you. This sense that I can be with this, I can handle this. Right. I was just blown away this week and it seems like such a quiet internal shift, but it’s something that I noticed in myself and it gave me great joy, great faith.
I kind of think that in the moment that we’re growing our capacity, it’s really hard to see it. It’s really hard to see the results. It’s not until afterward as we’re looking back and comparing to maybe where we were a month ago or a year ago, that we can notice the difference and give ourselves credit for all the work that we’ve been doing.
Join my group Presence!!
I want to invite you to come join my somatic based coaching program. I’ve named it presence because I think that is the goal. The goal is to be present to your internal self and to whatever’s happening in your external environment. And this is my goal for all of my clients in there, is to increase your capacity.
You’re not necessarily going to feel better right away. You’re still still going to have negative emotions. You’re gonna have goals that you haven’t reached yet, like you’re still gonna be in in it. But I want, I wish for everyone to feel like they have an increased capacity to be with whatever the Lord delivers to you. And I am just super excited about that idea.
I really feel like this is the work that we need in order to heal, in order to feel more joy, more peace, more faith, more love in our lives. Come check out presence. I want to let you know that the doors close on March 31st, 2023, and when those doors close, the option for lifetime membership at the cost of only one year goes away also.
I really just wanna encourage you to come in. People are enjoying the experience, they’re giving me lots of positive feedback. I just reached out to somebody that’s in the group that was also on my waiting list for private coaching, and she said, actually, I think I’m getting all that I need from the group, so I’m gonna pass on the private coaching.
So I’m thrilled that. My ideas are coming to fruition in that group, so I just wanna invite you to come, increase your capacity and feel that shift the way I felt this week, knowing that you have more space in your internal landscape.