Someone told me this recently.
She couldn’t even see a future where sex wasn’t a problem for her.
She wasn’t sure she believed it was possible to change her sex life.
Her past was riddled with so much sexual dysfunction that she is starting to believe this is just her lot in life- to be a woman with a terrible sex life.
Maybe she’s right.
Maybe she will never have a good sex life.
Maybe she will never orgasm.
Maybe she will never feel close to her husband.
But maybe she’s wrong.
Has anyone in the world ever gone from feeling like sex was a lost cause to, at some point later, feeling like sex is wonderful and pleasurable? Ever??
Is she a special case?
I want to offer that if it’s possible for one person it’s possible for anyone.
And here’s the thing:
Worse case scenario, your sex life stays the same. You have a good life, but it’s just this one little area that doesn’t get figured out. You’ve been doing it for this long, it’ll be fine to keep going like this.
Best case scenario, you figure it out! You and your husband experience pleasure and joy together. You become bonded in a way you never thought possible. You connect to yourself physically, mentally and emotionally. You actually look forward to sex. You realize that sex is for you as much as it is for him.
You feel whole.
You know what the real worst-case scenario is?
Not trying to make it better.
A possibility that never gets realized.
So what if you try and it doesn’t work?
The time and energy going toward your goal is not wasted.
It is useful.
It tells you who you are.
It shows you what you can do.
Getting rid of the belief that you will NEVER figure out sex is the first step to going for that possibility.
If you believe you will never figure it out, then you will feel discouraged and will give up and you will never figure it out.
Start thinking “Maybe I will figure it out.”
Just let that marinate for a while.