What obligation does to a sex life.

When you feel like you should have sex, it almost always backfires.

When you think the thought “I should have sex,” how does it feel in your body?

{Side note: are you able to connect to your body and notice what is happening in your body while you are thinking a specific thought? (Writing a note to myself to address this in an upcoming post.)}

Usually, any thought with a ‘should’ in it feels like pressure or heavy. Not always, but often.

Your brain does not like pressure; it doesn’t like anything that seems “negative.” The reason is because the brain doesn’t differentiate between physical and emotional pain. Negative emotion means there could be something dangerous there.

So when you feel pressure or negative emotion you want to get away from it. This is just what human brains do!

Photo by Priscilla Du Preez on Unsplash

Usually this looks like doing anything but the thing that feels like pressure, which for your brain when you think “I should have sex” is sex.

So then when you DO have sex, it is coming from the pressure energy, not from desire or love or anything else.

The same action fueled by a different emotion will feel so different.

Sex fueled by obligation will be a totally different experience than sex fueled by love.

What do you feel when you agree to have sex with your husband? Is it obligation? Or something else? Pay attention.

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