Sex and Money: something in common

It surprised me to realize that most of my clients who struggle with sex also struggle with money issues. Not all of them but most of them.

I started thinking about this connection to figure out why.

The first possibility is that they are not connected directly at all, but only correlated.

Maybe it’s just that my Latter-day Saint target market all feel like they don’t have enough money. They tend to have one-earner families and many mouths to feed.

Maybe Christians are just more conservative and both sex and money are problems separately. 

Maybe both problems are just rampant.

But something within me says the same thing that makes sex difficult makes money scarce.

Scarce. Hm….

Scarcity can be a mindset. 

Usually when you think one thing is scarce, that shows up in other areas as well. 

But is sex scarce?

Photo by Anthony Tran on Unsplash

Upon further reflection, I realized that scarcity comes from a place within you. 

Scarcity comes from feeling like you are not enough.

And THAT is what most of my clients have in common.

They struggle with sex, because they don’t feel like they are enough so they don’t show up fully. They hide. 

When you feel like you are not enough, then there will never be enough money either. 

Feeling like you aren’t enough leads you to try to prove your worth. You start looking at things outside of you to show you are enough. 

If you make or have enough money than you are enough.

If you perform well, then you are enough.

If your kids behave, then you are enough.

If sex is good, your husband will love you more and you will be enough.

This is a subconscious drive within us to feel like we are enough, valuable.

Let me just help you out right now:

YOU ARE ENOUGH.

Nothing outside of you is going to prove it.

In order to have enough money and good enough sex, you have to believe first that you are enough.

But friend- you are enough. Just the way you are. 

Lean into it.

Believe it.

Then watch your life change.

PS. Once you believe you are already enough, then everything you do will be just because you want to. It will come from a place of abundance. That energy fueling your actions will create more abundance in your life.

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If you want to work on this, come join my email list or my Facebook group.

Will a sex challenge save your marriage?

Photo by Eric Ward on Unsplash

I stumbled upon this article yesterday and thought I would share it here. It’s by Heidi Powell (who I know nothing about other than this article) and it’s about how sex saved her marriage.

A friend recommended a 30-day sex challenge to her and her husband as a last-ditch effort to keep them from divorce. And it worked for them.

Many of my clients want me to tell them what to DO. How often should we have sex? How should I respond to his text?

What you believe and think is ALWAYS more important than what you do.

I am not saying a 30-day sex challenge won’t help your marriage. It probably will. Try it and see what happens. What I am saying is that it’s not about the sex entirely.

Ms. Powell even says,

“And was it the sex that did it? Maybe partially. But what I believe really changed us was our dedication to spending even 20 minutes every single day completely focused on each other.

So yes. Sex in marriage is important.

It helps us focus on each other. It leads us to pleasure and fun that we associate with one another.

But sex isn’t everything. For every couple who uses this 30-day sex challenge to save their marriage, there is a couple out there who wasn’t even willing to try it. What came before the sex challenge was a tiny belief that maybe it will work. A thought that maybe it’s worth trying. A commitment to stick it out for 30 more days.

Just like money and time, sex makes you more of what you already are. It’s a thermometer of the relationship of sorts.

Sometimes changing the thermometer changes the relationship. And sometimes you can’t even bring yourself to change the thermometer because your heart already isn’t there.

So what do you want your thermometer to read? Hot or cold?

If you haven’t completely given up on the relationship, it is possible to get back to a place where you are thriving. Maybe a 30-day sex challenge will do it. Just make sure your thoughts are also in the right place.

If you are thinking “how do I make sure my thoughts are in the right place?” I want to offer that I may be able to help you. Click here to get on a call with me and see what you think, completely free. I LOVE working with my clients and seeing the amazing results they are getting. I will be opening up coaching for 10 amazing women starting June 10th. Let’s chat and see if it’s a fit for you!