On the same page as your husband

What is it with wanting to be on the same page as your husband?

(It’s not just you, it’s me too.)

If your desire was just the same, or closer to his…

If you could just see eye-to-eye with how you spend your money…

If you could come to an agreement on how to parent that difficult child…

If you could both figure out how to navigate each other’s parents…

Things would be easier.

Our brains want things to take as little work as possible. Easier seems like it’s always better.

But is it?

Easier doesn’t give us diversity.

Easier doesn’t get us to our goals.

Easier doesn’t make us better people. 

Easier is the natural man.

Easier is Satan’s plan.

Photo by John-Mark Smith on Unsplash

Besides. Isn’t it better if you both have different strengths? Then when one of you is weak, the other is strong.

Isn’t it better to have adventure and fun in the bedroom?

Maybe there isn’t one right way to manage money.

Maybe your difficult kid needs both methods of parenting.

What if the way you each are is exactly the way it is supposed to be?

What if this whole beautiful life and everything in it is working for you, not against you?

Isn’t it diversity that makes our world a more beautiful place? (Imagine if roses were the only kind of flower.)

Don’t try to make yourself like him. And don’t expect him to be like you.

Two people who are the same don’t encourage each other to learn and grow.

People who are the same don’t effect change.

Reading this same page over and over again is no fun. 

Create your own story.

Are you the kind of person you would want to have sex with?

Imagine you are watching yourself and your spouse having sex. Not in a voyeuristic way, just a being-aware-of-yourself way. Watch with curiosity.

Pay attention to your energy. 

Are you focused and energetic?

Are you relaxed and open?

Are you selfish?

Are you just laying there like you would rather it be over?

Are you sighing and impatient?

Are you nearly asleep?

Would you want to have sex with you?

Photo by Autri Taheri on Unsplash

What kind of person do you want to have sex with?

Can you be that person?

What prevents you from being that person (because I imagine if you could you would already).

Make a list of all the reasons you aren’t doing that already.

Then solve for each thing on that list.

The obstacles to a sex life you love will be figured out and you will be well on your way.

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If you want help with this, reach out to me. I have other free resources, and offer free consult calls.