The Productivity Trap

Thinking productivity will create your feelings or make you feel better is a trap.

When we accomplish something, we might feel better for a moment, but the effect is temporary. So then we have to do more and more to feel better and better. It leaves us feeling exhausted and confused.

We use willpower to get stuff done, which is why we are perpetually tired. Then when we are tired, we don’t get as much done. We are consistently falling short of what we know we are capable of.

This leads to shame, because there is a disconnect between what we believe about ourselves and what our actual results are.

Then we want to feel better. So we think, “Doing something will make me feel better!”

And the cycle continues.

The Productivity Trap

This Productivity Trap is draining and makes us want to give up because we can never quite reach our goal in a way that feels good.

There is a better way. I call this Positive Productivity:

  1. Decide what you want, and make sure you like your reasons. Don’t do anything IN ORDER TO feel better.
  2. Commit to it.
  3. Do the next thing on the path that you think will get you to your goal.
  4. Take action despite your feelings… you will have negative emotion, but it is not a sign to quit. (This is where mindset work comes in.)
  5. Evaluate.
  6. Repeat steps 3-6.

Each of these steps is much more nuanced than what I can outline in one blog post, but if you follow these steps, coaching yourself around your emotions as you go along, you will be able to be productive and feel good while you do it. In fact your emotions will FUEL your action instead of your action DRAINING you.

If you want to get out of the Productivity Trap and into Positive Productivity, schedule a free consultation with me. My program will help you feel better so you can get stuff done without exhaustion or doubt to create the life you really want.

The Missing Link

Feelings. Emotions.

What do you think about them?

How do you feel about your feelings?

So often in our American culture, emotions are frowned upon. Feelings are some kind of weakness.

Unless, of course, you are feeling positive emotion.

But what about anger, frustration, despair, sadness, grief, overwhelm, fear, insecurity, embarrassment….?

Are those “bad?”

Ironically, when we block ourselves from feeling negative emotion by resisting, reacting or avoiding them, we also block ourselves from feeling positive emotion too.

So often— maybe 98% of the time?– I see people who are struggling and feelings are the missing link.

We are self-aware about our thoughts.

We know what we want the results in our lives.

But we don’t know how to take action. We don’t know how to get there.

I think feeling is the how.

Let yourself feel whatever emotion you are experiencing right now.

What is it?

Where is it in your body?

Tell me more. What specific sensations? Hot? Cold? Sharp? Dull? Big? Small? Tight? Loose? Open? Closed? Heavy? Light? Does it have a color? A shape?

Get creative with those adjectives.

The only way to stop feeling your negative emotions (and to start feeling the positive ones) is through the emotion.

You will gain peace when you are ok with feeling exactly the way you are feeling right now.

Denita Bremer is a life coach who is on a mission to help Latter-day Saint women feel happier and more fulfilled so they can more effectively do their personal work in the world. If you are interested in a free life coaching session, sign up here.